Fixer Upper

When I was pregnant with the twins, I told Brock if we didn’t move before they came I wanted to get through AT LEAST the first 6 months before we even considered it. Of course, Brock kept looking online. It was about a month after the twins were born, and going for drives was what we did for fun. It was a common thing for us to load up the kiddos after dinner or on a Saturday afternoon just to get out of the house.

On this particular day Brock told me he wanted to show me something. As He started to slow down I noticed we were coming to a house. We pulled in, I saw the for sale sign next to the driveway and then looked up.

“What are we doing here?” I asked.

“What do you think?” was Brock’s response.

I told him I obviously liked it but there was no way we could afford it. We pulled in, sat in the driveway scanning the house and then the land in silence. As Brock backed out, he noticed we knew the realtor selling the house. Brock texted and jokingly said, “have these people come down 100,000 and you’ve got a deal.” Little did we know the deal the Lord had for us.

We ended up walking through the house a week or so later. I didn’t think I would love it, but I did. I instantly knew walking in that this was our home. I pictured our four kids running around the imaginary kitchen island. The feeling was strong. Granted, it needed so much work. I mean, so…much…work. Brock felt very strongly the Lord told him a certain number to offer, but out of fear they wouldn’t take it, he offered more. They accepted.

As we continued down the road a few things happened that had us questioning if this was right. One being just the season of life we were in. I remember telling Brock one night in the nursery as I fed the twins, “I don’t have time to brush my hair most days let alone pick a paint color for every room.” By the end of that week we backed out, felt horrible about it, but had peace it was right for the time being.

One of the men we had walk through the house to seek his counsel on it ended up buying it. We were thankful because we knew he had a love for the house too and would bring out its potential. Spring came and we started looking at houses again but could not find what we were looking for. I hadn’t driven past the house since we had given it up. By the third time I drove past this spring I noticed more limbs down and it hadn’t been maintained. I went home and told Brock I didn’t think the house had been touched since it was bought after us, “Well what do you want me to do?” Brock said.

I told Brock to text the gentleman that purchased it and tell him we would love to see it when he was done with it. He replied with, “Do you still want it?” Brock and the owner started talking and he told Brock after he bought it the Lord never gave him a green light to touch it. The day Brock reached out He thought, ‘if I was just supposed to buy it and hold it until Brock and Arica were ready, I’m good with that.’

What brings me to tears even more than all of that is what He bought it for. It is the EXACT number the Lord originally prompted in Brock back in the fall.

I remember driving by the house for the first time after we gave it up telling God out loud how confused I was. I felt so strongly I heard very clearly from Him this was ours. And then when it didn’t work out I was doubting if I really heard his voice at all? Was it all just selfishly motivated? Were we really crazy and in too far over our heads?

It was none of that.

As Brock and I have processed over the last year a few things have been evident.

1. God does not work on our timelines. HE is God. It was the right house, just not the right time. I cannot imagine trying to renovate this house during the twins first year of life had we gotten it when we originally wanted it. It would have crippled me. Now that we waited, God truly lavished his grace towards us through this whole process working with the seller of the house. It would have been nearly impossible before. Brock and I have NO idea what we are doing. The seller has general contracted the project for us and has been a God-send in every sense of the definition.

2. Were we willing to give it up? The day we went on our first drive out to the house Brock had preached on the idols of our life. He longed for a bigger yard, a place for the kids to run and I wanted a house with character. I will never forget seeking counsel from the wise Marcie Morrison this spring. Her response, after praying, were two things so very convictional and also spot on. She said, “Will you continue to press into ministry, and can you rest in the undone?” Little did she know, the first was for Brock and the second was for me.

This whole season is one of learning to rest in the undone, having peace in it, and being content among the piles of needs. I am not good at it. Actually I’m the worst at it. I struggle going to bed before the list in my head is done, but through the twins first year the Lord has been whittling away at that. It’s a balance, and I am a continued work in progress.

Just like our fixer upper. Contractors working on the place or even friends walking through either see the vision or they don’t. When we bought it, it was unlivable. It’s an 1858 home that was vacant for five years before it was even put on the market. So yeah, unlivable. When people first would ask why we would want a house like this I would get insecure by their questioning thinking, “What are we not seeing? Is it really just the work that is so unappealing to everyone?” But now I’ve realized it’s a total preference thing and I’m simply giddy over my fixer upper. Brock and I truly feel like we have hit the jackpot, and we can’t help but smile every time we pull up the driveway.

So far everything has been gutted, framing is up, three rooms have been painted, plumbing and electrical are done, plaster and stairways have been restored. We are currently waiting on the drywall to finish. It’s a work in progress but we are so excited to see why God chose us for our very own fixer upper!