Halfway There (the opinions)

Which is just what this post is going to be based on. My opinion of things that have worked or not worked for us as a family with four littles. Brock and I took some advice too literally and were very surprised or felt like we were doing something wrong when it didn’t work out the way we were told it would. So my prayer is that this will help prepare you or give you a new way to try something, but please do not take anything I say in here as ‘that’s how it will go for you’.

That’s parenthood right? Each and every kid is different, so there is never a ‘one way is the right way’. Can I get an amen? Here we go:

Jesus.

Have a relationship with your Savior. I really do not know how people get through life without Him. His desire for you through motherhood is to show himself to your kiddos and He will sanctify your heart to no end in the process. We are disciple makers, mamas! Let us not grow weary in our purpose in the day-to-day monotony. Jesus loves us and He can be fully trusted no matter what we are facing.

Schedule.

Have a schedule. I don’t care what you choose to follow or make up your own. For your own sanity, and if you have other kids for their expectations as well, have a schedule. We have followed the Moms on Call book which is similar to Baby Wise. We started the feeding schedule as soon as both twins were home from the NICU. Try to be consistent, persevere and keep the twins on the same schedule if at all possible!

Same goes for sleeping. But with that, don’t get your panties in a bunch when they don’t choose to sleep. Mine have been bunched for most of their six months. I’ve been shocked at the twins lack of napping during the day. Or if one wanted to, the other was boycotting. So having an attitude of ‘come what may’ will help you along the way as well.

Sleeping.

Most of the advice we were given was that when one twin woke up, they would not wake the other up. In some cases this has been true for us, but the majority of the time this has been completely false. Elle tries to boycott sleep, so she wasn’t letting her poor brother get any naps during the day. ( Now it’s funny because I’m seeing a trend that this is starting to flop). Once they started rolling over we moved them into their own cribs (around 5 months) which has helped a little, since Elle could no longer kick him when she would be screaming. But my best advice to you would be just don’t expect to sleep and you’ll be overjoyed if God graces you with twins that do sleep :)

As I said above we do believe in schedules but you can’t make a child sleep if they won’t sleep. I stopped feeding the twins in the night around 9 weeks but we are still up in the night with them having to give a paci or rock. So as far as it depends on you, be consistent in when you put them down for naps and bed but also don’t drive yourself crazy when they choose not to sleep.

Feeding.

Do yourself the favor and get the brest friend pillow.

If you can, breast feed tandem. Especially if you have other kids. I already feel that is all I am doing in a day, so I cannot imagine what feeding twins separately would be like. It helps keep them on the same schedule, helps you have time to engage with your other kiddos, and do the other million things needing done around your home before the next feeding begins.

Now, keeping your supply up can be hard. At least for me it has been. You’re trying to lose the baby weight but you are feeding two other humans at the same time. Yeah, it can feel like a bad joke some days because there will never be a time when you are not hungry! Make wise choices in your eating. Have good snacks and food around your house and just don’t even buy the junk. It will be too much of a temptation to eat out of convenience during the day and it won’t fill you up long enough anyway. Plus you need to save the junk as a reward at the end of the reallllyyyyy hard days :) (which will be hard to convince yourself is not everyday!)

Once the twins were sleeping through the night, I started getting up before their first feed of the day to pump out at least 3 oz on each side. It will help you build up a freezer supply when you need to have someone else feed them and it also tells your body to produce more! Also, these lactation cookies helped me a TON and they aren’t filled with a ton of sweets. I’ve gained no weight eating her recommended 5 cookies a day and it has definitely increased my supply. I found all the ingredients at Fresh Thyme and it is an investment. But not as big of one if you were buying formula for two babies. So try this first if you notice your supply lacking.

All that is said about breast feeding because it was a prayer of mine that I would be able to for the first year. But hear me say this- if you are going crazy… give the twins formula and be done with it. It is hard. It is a lot of hard work. And it is exhausting. You will have spit up places you never thought spit up could go before! So give yourself grace mama and for your sanity, give a bottle if it is better for you and your family. Babies can thrive with our without the boob.

feeding with other littles around.

After the first month of yelling for my boys to come back downstairs as I was literally strapped in, feeding the twins, I knew something had to change. The final straw was the day Trey came screaming down the stairs with a severe burn on his hand from touching the lightbulb on a lamp in Casen’s room. Like what in the ever-loving world?

So in an attempt to keep them where I could see them- I loaded up the crew one day, we all barged into good ol Dollar Tree and I let the boys pick pretty much anything they wanted with some slight direction. We got home and I put the toys into their own special bag labeled with their names. I put the bags in a closet and named them their feeding toys. They only got to play with those toys during feeding time and as soon as feeding time was over they picked them up and back in the closet they went. It worked! They totally got into it, it kept them downstairs and they would ask to get them out when they saw me getting ready to feed.

We really only utilized the feeding toys for 3 months, but it got us all into a routine of staying where I could see/hear the boys while I fed the twins. There was a lot less yelling on my end after that which is what the goal was!

Organization.

I really do think this is a necessity. Granted, I thrive better in a clean home with everything having a place and I am fully aware that is not a priority for everyone, which is totally fine. But with having two babies at the same time, you need to be organized. I made sure all the clothes in our home for all the kids had a tote with labels of their sizes on them before the twins came. One day you will be getting them dressed and realize they have outgrown everything in their drawers. Having the clothes in order allows you to put away what doesn’t fit anymore and replace with that tote in a day!

This can go as far as you want it to with toys, household items, etc. The point is, when you’re having other people in your home to help, it allows them to be more helpful to you when you know where everything is meant to be.

Priorities

Decide what is important to you as a mom and as a couple for your family. If you have other kids, the twins will naturally require the most attention, so deciding before they arrive what you want to continue with will allow you to see it through once they arrive! For me it was breastfeeding and for Brock and I it was the bedtime routine. With both of those things come sacrifices and that is why it is important to set your priorities in place. Yours will require sacrifices as well. Trying to do too much or keep up with your life as you knew it before the twins will become very overwhelming. In the midst of the craziness, it really can be a year to simplify all the “extras” in your life. And trust me, simple will serve you well!