FOUR
F is for Feeler.
Casen has always been a feeler. Even as a baby. He picks up on tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, all of it. He does not respond to being yelled at, in good or bad ways. He takes experiences and moments in deeply. It’s been convicting to Brock and I parenting Casen to be careful with our words…easier said than done in the heat of a moment! I’ve had to learn (and am still learning) to have compassion for his sensitive spirit. It does not come naturally to me especially when I don’t get it.
We have had to learn how to stretch and grow him a bit through this, but we are also learning how to love and lead him in the strengths he has as a feeler. Casen has given me a hug when I needed it most, said something encouraging that I would have never guessed he thought and helped with the kids when he could tell I needed it. He is one of the most serious kids I’ve ever met so it brings me so much joy when I see him lighthearted and belly laughing.
My feeler is four and I see how the Lord has used this four year old to teach me so much in the way of feelings.
O is for Observant.
It brings a smile to my face. I will decorate for the new seasons during nap time and when Casen gets up he immediately notices what is new. Even when a decoration gets knocked over or moved Casen can put it back correctly. This doesn’t stop with home decor, he is observant with everything and it truly amazes me. A new shirt, something outside, when you skip a line in a book. He definitely has a gift.
Casen has several books memorized, can know what is coming next in the day just based on normal routine, and will put toys or items in the house back where they belong without us even telling him thats where they go. Brock and I have been in a conversation before while Casen was in the other room, thinking there was no way he was paying attention with how engrossed he was with a toy, but sure enough later on he will ask about something we were talking about at that time!
My observer is four and I see how the Lord made Casen my oldest to sanctify me in my tone, facial expressions, and actions.
U is for Unique.
If there was a word that describes him best, I think this one does it. Casen fixates on certain toys week to week. He will hold them in his hand most of the day or he will place them somewhere to be sure he has them for nap and bedtime. They are always small objects. Sometimes, trash. Which for this mama (who has not a sentimental bone in my body) drives me nuts! One time, as I was throwing an empty bread bag away the twisty tie fell on the ground, and Casen rushed over to pick it up. That became his crane for the next week. It would fall down the gap between the wall and his bed, get lost in his covers or somewhere in the house and we would have to go searching for his crane! This is with anything. A napkin becomes sand as he tears it into a million little pieces at the table. A tag off of a shirt becomes his receipt that he needs right at that moment. There have been times when I have put the items in the trash and he will look in as he has gone to throw something away only to declare, “Um, excuse me mom! What is my crane doing in the trash? This is not trash!”
He’s an introvert through and through. He’s been hard for me to understand in this way. Anytime we are in a public setting, even with people he knows well and loves, he struggles to acknowledge them. He needs a lot of intentional time with people even if he seems totally uninterested or unamused; it makes a difference for how he will engage the next time. He needs time to be alone reading, playing, or imagining. The kid has a great imagination! If he does not feel like talking, he won’t. Sometimes not even with Brock and I. We are always working on eye contact and answering questions directed at him, even with Brock and I. Large group settings, even with our families, wear him out and he always says when we get back, “I love being home.”
My unique boy is four and I love that he isn’t defined by what’s ‘normal’, and he’s teaching this mama to embrace it.
R is for Reflective.
I will always remember the first time his little voice said to me at bedtime, “Mom, remember when I wouldn’t come in when you asked me to today? Why did I do that, Mom?” I was floored. You’re three and you’re asking me such an insightful question. It was a perfect opportunity to share the gospel and how Jesus always loves us even when we don’t do what we should.
Casen will turn his head to the side while his eyes are still looking straight ahead when he is really focusing on something. You can see his little mind processing and thinking; he is the definition of slow to speak. My favorite is when he cups his hand to his chin while he looks up with his eyes as he thinks of an answer to a question. Better yet, his eyes captivate me in general. They are like these big hazel mysteries starring right into your soul.
Casen proudly tells Dad when he gets home from work what he did well that day. He will recount memories of his whole four years of life at the most random times. I’m constantly wishing I could know what his little mind was thinking.
My reflective boy is four and I am constantly learning how to best love, disciple, discipline, and encourage him to be the man of God he was designed to be.
Casen is truly the best big brother. I’ve never seen a four year old (and a boy at that) so good with babies. He naturally gravitates to them and they like him as well. He is consciously gentle, entertains them when they’re upset, and makes me aware if they are doing something they shouldn’t. He is a protector of the rules and doesn’t want the people he loves to get hurt. He’s the perfect beginning to our family and we are so thankful for our Casen Brock.
